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| Source: pixabay.com |
Nothing like reviewing wills and last wishes to feel the grip of one's mortality. Ron and I have been doing so, on both counts. It's mostly in order, and we're trying to make what can't help but be a messy job easier for those we've asked to clean up after us. So to speak.
During our process, we realized our wishes for our final disposal were not in written form. Between ourselves, we had discussed being cremated. We had not made any decision or provision about our cremains.
Ron's family doesn't have a historical family cemetery. Mine has two in Nebraska, in close proximity. One is the Sumner Cemetery, where my Mom's side is buried. My Dad's side is buried in what is variously known as the Eddyville Cemetery, St. Patrick's Cemetery, or The Catholic Cemetery, Yeah, though the split is no longer practiced, the origins are pretty plain. My parents are at St. Patrick's Cemetery, as is Brother Scott's wife Laurie, to be joined by Scott at his time.
I've been visiting living family in Nebraska yearly since I retired, which was shortly after my parents died and were buried there. I've grown to like a visit to the non-living as well, and a flower run has become de rigueur.
We visited this past July, and during our drive from the airport to Scott's home, I had the feeling I've had almost every time I've visited. Not that I've come home, exactly, but that things make sense. The landscape, the never-ending horizon, the rural and agricultural nature of it. It lasts about a week, then it starts to get too confining. No place but paved roads to run, no place to just go for a walk without getting ticks and/or mosquito bites, the indoor lifestyle made necessary by midwestern summer weather. This year I had another feeling, accompanied by a thought which grew to be quite appealing: I might like to be buried in Nebraska. I didn't say anything to Ron about it at the time, but now that we're discussing such things, I told Ron I was thinking about it, and asked what he thought. He was amenable to joining me there.
Since he didn't know much of my Mom's side of the family, we decided St. Patrick's would be the cemetery of choice. It's in the middle of a cornfield, with a very nice aspect.
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| The drive in. |
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| Immediate family. |
Scott is the keeper of Nebraska family lore, and has told me in the past that when St. Patrick's was originally established, our family bought a number of plots. He believes it was our great-great-grandparents Sell who purchased the plots. My casual research shows that St. Patrick's was established in 1887, which would make the purchasers John and Sylvia Sell.
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| My folks made these genealogies for Christmas one year. You'll have to double click to enlarge it enough to read it. I'm on the bottom left, and the red line connects up to John and Sylvia. |
Scott believes there are two plots still available. He's going to do some legwork and see if that's the case, and confirm whether any of my aunts or uncles have plans to use the plots. They have priority, of course. If all of the family plots are spoken for, he'll check and see what other plots are available in the immediate area and their price. He believes there are plenty. When I asked him how we might put dibs on a family plot if it's available, he said, "Next time you're here, buy your headstone without the end dates and put it on the plot." Okay, THAT was a mortality grab right around the throat! "So, Alice, what did you do during your visit to Nebraska this year?" "Oh, we bought our headstone and had it installed at St. Patrick's"! YIKES!
Even so, another piece of the puzzle is falling into place, and it feels right.
“If you don’t know how to die, don’t worry; Nature will tell you what to do on the spot, fully and adequately. She will do this job perfectly for you; don’t bother your head about it.”
-----Montaigne
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